“Twilight” hunk Robert Pattinson veers perilously close to John Mayer territory in a new interview. He swears a lot, goofs on “Negroes,” and prattles on about porn. But, fortunately, he limits his sexual comments to vaginas and refrains, at least, from discussing his own penis.
Other aspects of his comments in the latest issue of Details magazine, however, are distinctly John-Mayer-like.
Mayer cause a storm of controversy in a new Playboy interview after he used the “N-word” to describe his relationship with African Americans. He likened his penis to racist David Duke, implying an aversion to black women, talk about his love of porn, and described ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson as sexual napalm.
Mayer later tearfully apologized.
For Rob, the interview marks a distinct shift in his image to a bawdy, sexually ambivalent, foppish Brit — sort of like a young Charles Laughton.
He’s obsessively curious about morbid diseases, bizarre sexual fetishes and his inability to understand women — to the point that he professes that his only real relationship is with his dog.
Is he gay?
The conversation indirectly dwells on penises, when Rob expresses his fascination with a tiny fish known as a Candiru.
It swims up the penis and into the urinary tract and lodges “in your cock” with backward-facing umbrella spikes it shoots from its spine.
“Fucking brilliant! It could be like Finding Nemo!” says Rob. “And the little candiru is lost in the balls! Think of the soundtrack!”
He also delights in lymphatic filariasis, in which parasitic worms burrow into your lymph nodes and make your balls swell to the size of watermelons.
But does loving a dog and penis-loving fish make him gay?
“The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, it’s ridiculous,” he says.
The conversation shifts to horses. Out of the blue the author brings up the subject of an S&M body-harness contraption that allows the wearer to dress up like a horse with long tail. In porn, they are called pony boys.
“That’s so English. I want to do this entire interview wearing it, from an equine point of view,” Rob shoots back, stomping the sidewalk with make-believe hooves. “Seriously. As an experiment in public perceptions.”
Whoa there hoss’. And, what about this?
“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina,” he says about the nude models he posed with during a 12-hour photo shoot.
“You kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover,” he says.
“This shoot, it’s kind of eighties nakedness, you know? If you look at porn in, like, the eighties, there was something kind of quaint about it, quite sweet—like this little naked community,” he says. “Not remotely like the porn that’s available now. No community in it at all. It’s just everything, everywhere.”
Rob is so self-conscious about his success as an actor and the legion of fans who adore him, he seems almost embarrassed to talk about it.
“Rob, did you know that every time you say actor or acting you lower your voice to a whisper?” the interviewer asks
He’s genuinely startled. “I do?”
“Yes, so quietly it’s like you’re saying Negro.”
“What if we were ‘acting’ like ‘Negroes’? Then we’d be fucked—we couldn’t hear anything. . . .” he says laughing?
Hey, what’s with that?
Rob is gorgeous with those smoldering eyes, tousled hair and high cheek bones. But for his own good, he should just shut up and stare into the camera, and keep his inner John Mayer to himself.
Thanks to kspice75 and Jittzpattzing for the links.
This is exactly what I am, and I guess the whole fandom was afraid of about this interview. Those who do not follow Rob like we, his fans do will never get this. True to form, The Improper started it already. I'm pretty sure this will not be the last. His blurts can fascinate and is possible to offend some people. But like Rob, the fandom does not care. Because we know better. If you think this was "politically stained", look at THIS from DListed, its sickly funny.
